The Secret Self-Confidence

When I was just a kid my father who was in sales at the time gave me a little bit of advice. I used it and soon found myself one of the most popular kids at school. I used that advice later in life and it has helped me to become quite successful at what I do. Now that might sound like a bit of a boast but the truth is that I owe a lot of my success to the wisdom of my father and his father before him.

I guess he knew about the Law of Attraction years before it was made popular by Bob Proctor. Dad said, "You become what you most think about so you had better be thinking about something good." Just as a side issue another one was the way he told me about the facts of life. He said, "Your last name is Drinkwater, people remember that name because it is usual. Well that was my first introduction into the birds and bees as we used to call it in those days. I was twelve and had no idea of ​​what he was talking about. What did sex have to do with the family name?

The first piece of advice however that he keep me when I was just a young kid has been the corner stone of all my relationships business and personal ever since. I had an uncle, my dad's youngest brother, he was a musician and he was well known in the industry but he also had a huge gathering of friends from all over the world. Later I discovered why this was so and assumed rightly or wrongly that the advice had come from his father.Later I put my own flavor to the advise and have since passed it onto my two sons.

It goes something like this. "There is nothing sweeter than the sound of the person name that you are talking too on your lips." It sounds simple but it was the key to my self confidence and allowed me to boldly go where my peer s scared to tread and then bought me success at an early age. I just repeated their name at least three times in the first minute of meeting them. It is the whole key to your own self confidence and will separate you from the flock that is locked into a world of self indulgent narcissism. You see it is peoples self absorption that keeps them thinking small and achieving little and also being quietly ashamed that they are failing to do the things they fear. When viewed from this perspective you can understand that shyness is really vanity. A person is so self absorbed with their own fear of failing that they sabotage themselves to make sure that the status quo is not upset.

Perhaps you have subconsciously done this to yourself without realizing what you were doing. That old subconscious mind of yours does not mind a little embarrassment as long as it keeps you safe, well fed and warm. That's why many of us eat as a reaction to stress. You are torn between fight and flight so to calm things down and quieten the internal conflict the subconscious says eat and be safe. The fat you put on will keep you warm and if you are bigger then maybe the bully will keep away from you. You think I'm over simplifying this do not you. Well the truth is you will find lots of middle age obese people and it is mainly because their subconscious is preparing them for when they are too old to work. Huh now you've gone too far I've gone off track a little.

Dale Carnegie tells the story of this guy who sat next to a woman at a banquette. He did not feel much like talking and so he asked the lady to tell him about all herself, her family, her interests and her life in general. She came away praising him for being a brilliant conversationalist when in reality she had done most of the talking. People are like that. They love to tell you about themselves because that is what they think about mostly and generally are not interested in you. She could hardly relate a thing about the young man other than the fact that he spoke well.

I was walking down the city street one day when a guy came up from behind me and asked me how I was. I struggled to remember his name, yet he asked me about my business and personal life. He recalled events and people that I had not given a thought to for years. I slowly realized that he was continuing a conversation we had had over coffee years before. I asked him how it was that he remembered so much about me. He told me that he had made a life study of the people in his life. He committed to memory events and characters so that he could recall them later. I was tempted to tell him to get a life but he had an interesting and fulfilled life. Since that day I have never forgotten his name, his wife's name, his children's names his sister name and his wife's eight brothers and sisters names. I can tell you who they married where they live and what they do for a living.

What I had done was picked up on the lesson my father had taught me just before high school. I realized that by taking a real interest in people and remembering facts and details about them I was empowering myself. You become what you think about. Just like the feelings of flattery I felt when my friend recalled all those details about me I knew that I was making others feel the same. This brave me an awesome boost in confidence. You see confidence comes from knowledge and experience otherwise it is just empty bravado. The truth is that you can never really know what the other person is thinking about or. However if you set the agenda to your terms by using your memory and fore knowledge you have a much better chance of navigating your way through any encounter. Self confidence is a gift that you give yourself. How much of that gift you actually receive depends on how worthy you feel. If you set the agenda that you are a good person to know and a true friend then where ever you go you will be met with the same reaction. The same reaction means that you have fore knowledge and self confidence comes from knowledge and experience.

It just takes a conscious decision to control your subconscious. It takes about twenty one days of constant programming to make an impression on your subconscious mind and coincidently that is how long it takes to either break or make a new habit. You see you really do become what you most think about. If you tell yourself that from now on people will be drawn to you the next thing you need to tell yourself is that only the best people will be drawn to you. Why? Because birds of a feather flock together. In other words you will become a magnet drawing some really great and interesting people into your life.

The next thing on this journey will be the realization that all people are worthy of your friendship because just about every person that ever drew breath has an interesting story to tell and that it is worth of you committing it to memory.

It was my turn to spend some time on the bridge of the luxury yacht with, "the old man" a multi billionaire about to retire. I thought that I would ask his advice to a young man like me about to start off in a business career. I remember he took a long look at me to see if I was genuine. His technique was to ask me again. You see later he told me that if it was just a rehearsed question I would have faulted but if I could easily rephrase my question then I was probably sincere in my quest. Lucky for me I was genuine and so his answer was equally genuine. He told me that most men (it was a very man orientated world then) did not know the real reason why they were successful but somehow the forces of the universe preferred them over others. He suspected that they never contemplated failure and operated out of a feeling that they were going to succeed. I remember thinking about self confidence at that point and how it was like a self fulfilling prophesy. He then added I always thought of failure and have sent my whole adult life preparing for that event. I could have realized so much more if I had freed myself and all those resources to use now and instead of saving them for a rainy day that never came. That is why my advice to you is this. ' Be nice to everyone on your way up you never know who you will meet on your way down. "Well it was not exactly the advice I expected from such a rich and powerful man. empire he said "Be nice to everyone on your way up you never know when you may need to use them."

My interpretation is simply, "Be nice to everyone". My own son handles problem people with the following technique. He out-nices them. I know there is no such word but what he means is that the worse a person's behavior becomes the nicer he determinates himself to be. His work mates originally thought him to be weak and would mock him for his beautiful nature. Now they realize it takes great self control not to fly off the handle. It reminds me of that poem by Kipling called IF. Look it up on You Tube if you do not know it. What my son has done and you can easily do it too is to invoke the first law of success. Remember the Law of Attraction well there are twelve laws alike. For a law to be a law it must work every time, for every person everywhere in exactly the same way, and never changes. The eleventh forgotten law is the law of Non-Resistance. Whatever you resist will persist. My son refuses to give energy to a person's negative behavior. A similar law of nature says that a body at rest will remain at rest until acted upon by a force. Let a person's negative behavior rest with them. Do not react to it or you will give it energy to affect you.

What I have told you about in this paper will literally change your life over night if you give it energy. I could tell you about the thousands of people that have turned their scares into stars with the application of what has been written here but you need proof more than stories of how it worked for someone else. So here is a practical application that has a one hundred percent success rate if applied diligently by a sane person. In school we are programmed to read, remember and repeat just like a parrot. However if you do not understand how the above laws work the odds of you using them in your favor are very slim since since all our lives we have been programmed to violate theses laws. Here is the little project for you over the next twenty one days. At the same time as you are developing your people skills of thinking more about people than yourself I want you to block out all media especially the TV and radio news plus newspaper. This will allow another law to start acting in your life. It is the law of sacrifice.

We often think of sacrifice as giving something up but in this case you are making room for something else in your life. Replace the media news with unselfish thoughts about other people as described above. Do not worry if anything dramatic happens you will soon hear about it but do not watch for twenty one days. I promise you that you will be seeing life differently on the twenty first day. I absolutely guarantee without a moment's hesitation or fear of contradiction that if you can do this you would have mastered one of the most difficult things that modern man faces. If you do not watch the news on TV then you will have to give up some internet time, about two hours a day for twenty one days. OK that's it. Make no more excuses your destination belongs to you now. If you do not do this then you only have yourself to blame. By the way you do not even have to believe it will work to do it. The forces of the universe are so powerful that nothing can stop this from working accept you. I would rather have these laws working for me than against me.

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